The Pressured Christian

I had a conversation a couple of days ago with Dr. Michael Thompson, author, educator and child psychologist. He's the New York Times best-selling author of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, as well as Best Friends, Worst Enemies, a book about powerful childhood issues such as popularity and social cruelty.

He's also the author (with Teresa Barker) of The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life.

Thompson told the story of the parents of a Grade 9 boy whose parents thought he was unorganized. They sought Dr. Thompson’s help.

He asked the dad if he himself was “organized.”

The dad replied, “Yes, I am.”

Thompson then asked him: “Well, when did you get organized?”

The father replied: “Well, when I was a junior in college.” Ah!

Thompson acknowledged that some anxiety can be helpful in the learning process but constant pressure is not helpful. Moreover, the pressure that parents place on children is now equalled by the pressure parents exert on teachers to ensure that teachers are providing the education the parents want and need their child to have.

In fact, children are looking for experiences that make them feel that they’re achieving developmentally and that they’re as competent as they can be. In short, they’re looking for:

Connection
Recognition
A sense of mastery

Generally, these feelings do not come from report cards. They know that the report card is not who they are.

THE PRESSURED CHRISTIAN

The idea that kids deal with a lot of pressure to succeed--from peer, parents and teacher--leads us to ask how the "pressured Christian" responds when faced with day-to-day issues such as unethical business practices in his or her place of employment; expectations for service and ministry in church; family obligations; fidelity, love and trust in relationships; career paths; spiritual and devotional life. What are the stressors? How do Christians deal with them? How should we cope? Is this the nature of the Christian life: facing pressure and responding in a way that's consistent with our core Christian beliefs?

I suspect that Christians, like children, are looking for: Connection, Recognition and a Sense of Mastery. That is, Christians need connection and community to thrive and grow spiritually and emotionally toward a wholeness that enables them to deflect pressure or channel it wisely. They also need Recognition, that is, their particular skill-set must be affirmed and authenticated by the ChristBody in order for them to function and serve effectively. When you are affirmed in what you're doing, handling pressure is a piece of cherry pie. Finally, they need a sense of mastery. Christians can handle the pressures of life when he or she has gained control of themselves. This is the right kind of control, the kind of control or self-discipline about which the apostle Paul offer spoke. We're not talking about control over others, but the ability to discipline oneself. When a Christian is able to exercise restraint, discipline, control, then that Christian may find not only that pressure is easier to handle, but that some stressors don't even show up for work. Self-discipline and mastery can do that.

This could be a sermon series.